Are Fathers Important?

Are Fathers Important?
Tuesday, June 20, 2023 by Phyllis Kester

Young father Buel M. Smith holding his toddler daughter, Phyllis Ann Smith. A memory from when I was in the ninth grade popped into my mind earlier this week while I was reading, "As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him." (Psalm 103:13, ESV)

We had moved to Wichita, Kansas, and lived in an apartment complex while house hunting. I was learning to drive, and our garage was down the hill from the apartments. Daddy would "let" me take the car down to put it into the garage after he and Mother got out at the top of the hill. Thrilled to be trusted enough to drive down and pull the car into the exceedingly narrow garage, I was cautious. Things went fine for a while, but then I caught the right rear fender on the garage door's frame one day. I was horrified. Although barely a scratch, I felt the whole world had just caved in on me. I knew I had to tell Daddy because he would spot it. Walking up the hill to our apartment, I mentally assassinated myself in many ways so I wouldn't have to admit what I had done. I rehearsed what to say in my mind, but when I stepped inside to give him his keys—I froze.

He could tell from my face that something was wrong and got up to come to me. That made it worse. Now I was terrified, although I'm not sure why. He had never given me any reason to fear him. I was crying because I knew what I had done would disappoint him, and I felt terrible. The compassionate father that he was, he put his arms around me and comforted me, telling me some old car was not worth my tears. Then we trooped down the hill to see how I "had ruined" our vehicle, according to me.

While I stood by, mortified, he backed the car out into the sunlight to see why I was so upset. He scrutinized it and smiled at me as if to say, "Nothing here. Why are you so upset?" I never got scolded, just told that sort of thing could happen to any one of us if we're distracted or driving in a little crooked.

Why did that incident pop into my mind after reading Psalm 103? Just as my father showed such tenderness and compassion for me in a situation that could have been volatile in some households, my father's compassion laid the foundation for my understanding of the compassion of the Lord, just as the Psalm states.

I know talking about fathers is sensitive to some who had missing or abusive fathers during their childhood, and that makes the whole idea of God as a father a significant stumbling block for them. If that's your situation, look for a positive older man (friend or relative) to help fill that missing piece for you. Fortunately, I had a father who had expectations of me and set limits, but there was freedom within those limits. I think knowing the boundaries was very freeing to me as I grew up because it helped me learn that I was trusted, and it helped me feel loved. Daddy was a human example of dependability and quiet, loving acceptance that made it so much easier for me to pray "Our Father which art in heaven.…" (Matt. 6:9, KJV)

Wait a minute! When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray, He started out: "Our Father which art in heaven." Doesn't that mean there is to be a similarity in our mind between our earthly father and our heavenly father? That immediately exalts the role of an earthly father, for he prepares his child's heart for a loving, trusting relationship with the creator of the universe. Those are big shoes to fill, and we must encourage every father as he faces this responsibility.

May I encourage you dads to look around and include some other children with yours if they don't have a father in their life. As an elementary school principal, my father did that with many young people, and I will never know—this side of heaven—how much difference that made because—Yes, fatherhood is extremely important!

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Comments

Bruce From Florida At 6/20/2023 10:01:40 AM

Thank you for sharing this story about your father. It reminded me of when my son totaled my car. I must admit, I was not as gracious as your father.

Reply by: Phyllis Kester

Well, a totaled car is a bit different from a mere scratch. So don't be so hard on yourself.

Helen Ann Spessard From At 6/20/2023 7:54:31 AM

That is so touching and as usual, helps me understand who you are and how your parents helped you become the Phyllis I know. Thanks for sharing. Helen Ann