Fathers and Father's Day

Fathers and Father's Day
Tuesday, June 6, 2023 by Phyllis Smith Kester

Family picture of Buel, Hallie and young Phyllis Smith The following appeared in the Lynchburg News and Advance Newspaper for Father's Day, 1993. I wrote it one month after my father died.

It is good that Father's Day causes us to stop at least once a year to show appreciation to our fathers. So often, we seem to get carried away in sentimentality for Mothers and merely treat Fathers as "the one who pays the bills." But, no matter how rough and tough the guy is, he has a soft spot in his heart for his child(ren). We often talk of the impact of mothers on the family, but isn't our society suffering today because we place too low a value on the significance of fatherhood? I was very fortunate to have had a loving, caring Father for a long time. But, his influence did not stop within the walls of our home. He was an educator for 39 years, knocking heads with hundreds of young people every day and paddling when all else failed. There were often knocks at the door of our home as some young adult brought their spouse and new baby to meet the "man who most influenced me" since Daddy tried to be like a Father to those who needed one.

After he retired from education, he and Mother built and ran a small motel (Smith's Chalet) in Eureka Springs, Arkansas, to fulfill his dream of "living in a house by the side of the road and being a friend to man." He wanted to be like Sam Walter Foss states in his poem "The House by the Side of the Road." Daddy sometimes kept travelers without pay and loaned his truck to tourists stranded by a wreck; he was indeed "a friend to man" for many years.

One of the greatest things my father did for me was showing his complete steadfastness to his wife, my mother, and to his Lord Jesus Christ—even during the last 5 months of his life that was spent hovering at death's door. His last words on earth were about how his hospital room changed when Jesus walked in. Although he had been ready to die for quite some time, he fought to live until his wife of 56 years was willing to let him go. When she reached that point and told him to "reach out and take the hand of Jesus," Daddy squeezed her hand one last time and immediately was gone.

Although his loving heart physically stopped beating a month ago, the beat goes on as I think of the beautiful letter my husband wrote Mother. He tried to verbally express what a special role model Daddy had been to him and how he had learned so much from watching him. I am only beginning to realize my father's influence on both of my now-grown sons, both directly and through their own father. A Father's impact lives on in the lives of his children, grandchildren, and those for whom he served as a role model. Grandfather Buel Smith with two young grandsons on his lap.

Although I can not mail a Father's Day card this year, it will still be a special day. I will thank the Lord for having been blessed with a caring father and for expressing my appreciation to him while he was still alive.

Buel M. Smith, my 80-year-old father, died a month ago today. Despite all the moves and throwing away over the years, he kept those little homemade cards I wrote to express my love, appreciation, and admiration of him. Later, in my own home, I happened upon my husband's collection of Father's Day cards from our sons. I wept over the one written by a grown son away from home, expressing his appreciation and respect to his father. Although all families have good and bad times with children challenging the rules and trying the limits, those personal notes of appreciation seem to go a long way in erasing the bad memories.

Why don't you lay aside whatever might hinder you from expressing your love or appreciation to your father or other significant men in your life. Please pick up your pen or the telephone today, for he may be gone next Father's Day.

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Comments

Helen Ann Spessard From WCL At 6/7/2023 6:55:11 AM

Phyllis , this is such a beautiful story of your father and what he had meant to you and to Monty and to your sons. I think I know your Father simply by knowing you. You have a strong faith, strong values and deep respect and much love for others, thanks to your parents .